Patience and Control in fertility


This may seem like a strange topic, but in reality this is the conversation I have the most often with my patients. Especially fertility patients, where everyday that does not bring to fruition their goal of a healthy baby can cause anxiety, fear and even panic. Couple that with our societies emphasis on going after your goals, achievement and conquering many of them are left confused and anxious when these traits that have served them well in other areas of their life (workforce, athletics etc) can actually put them further behind their goal when it comes to conception.

This is because conception and fertility, at its’ core is not an activating force that can be forced but rather a receptive quality that allows. It is yin in a world of yang.

So yin and yang. Here are those words again. By this point many of us have at least heard of these concepts and have an idea of what they are. While at the same time not having a clue. These simple, elegant and timeless concepts that describe the most basic flow of how nature works in life. It is the constant dance of opposites upon which all physical reality manifests.

yin yang

Yang qualities are masculine, active, external, vibrant, and dynamic. These are qualities that are heavily reinforced in both men (and often women) as we grow up. Yin qualities are feminine, internal, receptive, dark, and mysterious. Yang is more in pursuit of knowledge and control; yin is wisdom and allowing.

The female reproductive system functions via its receptive, yin qualities. Implantation is receptive and therefore yin. In fact, growth happens through and because of adequate nourishment. Yang needs yin for nourishment and yin needs yang for activation and movement.

So how does this relate to power and control and fertility? Often when women come in they are stressed, their diets are poor, they work too much, either at work, home or both. Often times they are older ( though by no means old!) and have perception around time slipping away from them and needing to do everything as quickly as possible to become pregnant. They often employ the same drive that has taken them this far in their fertility journey.
And it is a journey. I often counsel women( and some men) about the value and journey of grow and experience. Everyone’s journey is different, with different challenges to go through. What I see with fertility is learning to have the patience and will to make changes in their life to both promote and allow fertility to happen. This often requires the time and space to allow these changes to occur. And that is the difficult part. Making the changes necessary to promote a healthy bo
dy and mind and pregnancy does not happen overnight. It takes time and patience often to get to where you are going. As with most things in life- anything worth having requires some kind of effort and often sacrifice. Something I think our ancestors understood and somewhere in our instant gratification society we have forgotten.

Angela Fingler